Monday, August 24, 2009

An Onion Classic

For those of us who grew up watching wrestling in the 80's anyway.

Ted DiBiase Worried About Current Status Of His Million Dollars

BEL, CA—Once known for his extravagant spending and diamond-studded outfits, former professional wrestler "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase has reportedly fallen on hard times, admitting Tuesday that he did not know the exact status of his $1 million fortune. "Well, the economy has been real bad lately, and Virgil has made some terrible investments over the years," said DiBiase, shaking his head and adding that he hadn't slowly counted a stack of bills in the backseat of a limousine in more than a decade. "I also lost track of where my briefcase is, and that had about $5,000 plus a bunch of IOUs in it." DiBiase went on to claim that "everybody has a price," and said he was currently accepting offers to kiss people's feet for $100.
I'd just like to point out that one of the curious aspects of the Ted DiBiase character was that he looked like all the guys who worked at the feed mill in my home town. I feel certain none of those guys had a million dollars.

1 comment:

bigsmithdude said...

it took me reading half of this article before i realized that it was from the onion. the moment i saw that not only was virgil still around, but he was also making investments of behalf of TD? well, i just knew something was up!

now if only the mouth of the south would stop doing the nature boy's taxes...


Free Blog Counter