Rules for the Bus

I went to the Obama rally Saturday. Instead of parking 6 miles away, I rode the bus. I picked it up at the MAX station at 43rd and Main, but the bus I got on was just a regular route bus. It was already jammed with people, most of whom were wearing some sort of Obama gear. There were also a few people on the bus, who just wanted to go wherever it was they were going without a bunch of first-timers getting in their way.

And it was very clear that many of the people on the bus hadn't been on one in a very long time if ever. For those people, I would like to make a few suggestions for any future bus trips.

1. You don't get on through the rear doors. You get on at the front. When you get on in the back you get in the way of everyone trying to get off. There is also nowhere to pay at the rear. Perhaps you did not know that there is generally a fare involved, but there is. If you wondered why everyone was looking at you like you had no head, that is why.

2. When the lady behind you says she is getting off at the next stop, that means get out of the way. It does not mean that you need to yell over the top of 40 people that someone is getting off at the next stop. There is a cord that the woman behind you definetely already pulled. It let the busdriver know what her intentions were.

3. It is not cool to fist bump every black guy that gets on the bus. It is the opposite of cool. You are not earning extra liberal points for that type of behavior. You might catch a pretty good beating however. Stop.

4. When an old lady tells you to make room because Rosa Parks is on the bus, she is jacking with you. Try not to think about what it all means, seriously, she is just messing around... and getting you to move your ass.

I am sure there is more to add here, but I don't want to fill your heads with too much. The rules are pretty simple. Try to follow them.