Tuesday, November 24, 2009

(Side) Hug the Ones You Love

When I was in high school, I remember occasional proselytizing about the dangers of oral sex or even heavy petting. I do not remember, however, anything as militant as warnings not to hug people before marriage.

Apparently, times are changing:

Yes, now it’s abstinence only for Christian teens when it comes to hugs. The basic message is that “front hugs” should be saved until marriage, This is told to us while using a lot of ghetto rap hand motions. (”Word!”) I think the fear here is if teens give each other a “full frontal hug” it’s leads towards the Satanic road of no return of crotch-to-crotch dry humping. The next thing you know, you’ll be on that slippery slope of supporting gay marriage and believing dinosaur bones aren’t a test from God. Best to keep it safe with a “side hug” (at least until one is declared man and wife).

Via Matt Yglesias.


Megan said...

Ohh, boy. There are so many things wrong with this, I can hardly wrap my head around it. It's not okay to "front hug" someone, but it's okay to put them in a coma? Don't even get me started on them using the term "rough rider", because they clearly don't know what that even means. The gun shots in the background are a nice touch, too. Mind...is...going...to...EXPLODE!

Brian said...

I saw this the other day, surely this is satire. There's just no way I can believe "The Christian Side-Hug" is a legitimate thing. Even the evangelical nut jobs aren't that crazy. Are they?


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