If God Had Intended Spiraldy Light Bulbs...

Joe Barton, Republican House Member from Texas and possible next chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee on his priorities:

He laid out the central fronts: the battle to repeal what he calls Obamacare, the fight against the EPA, backing the growing insurgency opposed to net neutrality regulations, taking on "environmental radicalism" and -- of course -- defending the "traditional, incandescent light bulb" against government regulators who want to replace it with what Barton called "the little, squiggly, pig-tailed ones."

Only a bunch of pansy-assed, liberal, government do-gooders would dare give us pig-tailed light bulbs. They are clearly like the gay marriage of illumination.